Embracing Motherhood by Corrine L. Bucher, Life Coach
Corrine L. Bucher, Life Coach

A Matter of Perspective
Our Secrets Keep Us Stuck

Into Action
How to Deal with Anger

New Offering
March Vision Board Workshop

Offerings
Individual Coaching Sessions, Throw a Balance Party

Bio
Who is Corrine Bucher?

March 2011 Newsletter - #22
Embracing Motherhood:
Our Secrets Keep Us Stuck

Dear Friends,

My family and I have been enjoying the longer days. What a blessing! Spring brings renewed energy, gorgeous sunsets, and fun new adventures. My hope for you is that you can enjoy the present moment for all it brings.

Whatever your stage of motherhood, I hope you feel inspired and supported each month to live more fully and joyfully. My mission is to bring you simple, practical ideas that you can use right now to usher in more energy, time, and move beyond balance to vibrance.

I welcome your feedback. Please let me know what will help me help you make the most of your adventure.

Sincerely,
Corrine Bucher
Life Coach and mother of a first and second grader
Corrine@corrinebucher.com

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"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves."
Thomas Edison

beach path
A Matter of Perspective

As my client's tears welled up, I felt her pain as she told me about yelling at her kids a few hours earlier. My client, who quite often awes me with her deft parenting skills and sage wisdom, had done something much more common than she realized. At some point even the most serene among us will falter and lose it with our kids. This misstep is made all the worse by the way it instantly registers on our kids' faces, adding to our guilt the fear that we've done some sort of long-term damage. A fear that lingers long after our anger has subsided.

My nickname in college was “Sweet C”, so when I became a mom I met a side of myself I had no idea even existed. I remember that first moment when both kids, whining incessantly from the back seat of the car as I tried to navigate rain-slicked streets, took me over the edge. I yelled; wide-eyed, they both froze and then broke into tears. It was awful. All I could think was that a good mom would never act like that. What I had done was unforgivable and damaging, so how could I possibly tell someone what I'd done? The more guilt I piled on, the more I found myself becoming impatient and crabby. I was spinning down the rabbit hole. Finally, I called my best friend and told her what had happened and what I was feeling. I felt immediate relief when she shared a similar experience. I needed to be reminded that I am not unique, nor alone. As soon as I stopped loathing myself for what I had done and began looking at how I might avoid having the same reaction again, I was on my way to a solution. And peace of mind.

The pursuit of perfection as a mom is tricky. I can strive for it, but I also have to accept that there are days -- perhaps quite a few -- that I'm going to fall short. I have found that I can't have true love and compassion for my family without having them for myself. Loving myself means not carrying my burdens alone. Having compassion for myself means accepting that I will make mistakes. There is a poignant saying: “We are only as sick as our secrets.” Sharing our fears allows us to see them in proper perspective, instead of the towering monsters they can become if allowed to grow inside our heads. The pain for my client was that she hadn't been the mom she would like to be and knows she can be. Been there, thought that. As soon as she let the monster out, the healing began. For both of us.


Ask yourself: Do you continue to beat yourself up and feel guilty, creating more negative emotions and feelings? Or do you talk about it openly, let it go and learn from it?

Into Action

Some ideas from other moms about how to deal with anger:

“Let go of "how things should go" in a day. Rather than more control, sometimes with children or babies we need to let go of control. In fact it can be the need or urge to control that gets in the way and leads to the anger.”

“When you do lose your temper and find yourself yelling - don't beat yourself up - you are after all a human being too. More importantly, in fact essential, is to repair the incident with your kid(s). Apologize, and explain to them you don't think it is OK to yell etc. (whatever explanation and apology works for you). But it is necessary to repair and reconnect after a rupture, not just let it ride.”

“Accepting responsibility, becoming aware of my emotions and what triggers them, actively choosing not to follow the habitual patterns, and being compassionate toward myself when I 'screw up'. It just makes things a whole lot worse if I am feeling crappy about my behavior, rather than simply acknowledging it and pledging to myself that I will try again the next day (or moment). It really is challenging, but I feel myself being pushed to grow in new ways that I never allowed before motherhood. There is something extremely rich about the rawness of emotions that come up, coupled with the compassion and love we feel toward our children and our desire to do our best.”

And there are a few great resources to support you:

  • Parental Stress Services is a wonderful non-profit organization that can help you. Their hot line phone # is (510) 893-9230.

  • Parenting Solutions Workshop: From Conflict to Cooperation, with Michele Eisenberg michele@siriusleadership.com

    Her eight-week introductory class starts March 24 and space is limited, so reserve your space now.

    When: Thursday evenings 7 – 9 PM
    Dates: March 24 & 31, April 7 & 28, May 5, 12, 19 & 26.
    Cost: $350 per person (includes book and reader)
    Location: Berkeley, CA

Send me an email and let me know the impact this has on your life.
Corrine@corrinebucher.com

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New Offering

Vision Board Workshop and Mini-Retreat for Women #2
(this was so popular we have to do it again)

Saturday March 26th 12-5

Enso Studio, 131 Kelly Avenue, Half Moon Bay, CA 94019

Co-facilitated by Amy Outman, Certified Yoga Instructor and
Corrine Bucher, Life Coach

Connect! Vision! Create!

A uniquely designed Vision Board workshop that blends yoga and life coaching! More powerful than goals, visions evoke emotion and involve your heart not just your head. A vibrant life starts with turning inward and revealing a compelling vision

Please RSVP to corrine@corrinebucher.com. Investment is $65. This workshop will be limited to 20 participants. All materials and light refreshments will be provided.

Offerings

1. Individual Coaching *ask about my March deal*
Coaching is a powerful partnership that often leads to remarkable results. As a coach I provide structure, tools, accountability, and inspiration to move you forward. Pricing upon request.

2. Throw a Balance Party!
Workshops for Playgroups, Mothers' Clubs, and Groups of Friends.

I will bring a workshop to you in your home! A great way to offer value and connection to your group. These two-hour workshops cover topics ranging from creating a vibrant motherhood vision to the art of restoring your energy. Host a Balance Party and receive a free one-hour coaching session. Only offered in the Bay Area. Contact me for details.

Please email me for more details, corrine@corrinebucher.com

Corrine Bucher, Life Coach






International Coach Federation


Bio

A veteran coach and mother, I am devoted to transforming the lives of mothers, whether working or not. Known for my enthusiasm, spiritual touch, and practical strategies, I have spent the last 12 years challenging and inspiring women to define and manifest their ideal vision of life balance and fulfillment—often to remarkable results. Through compelling, inspired actions, each individual client’s success grows from the inside out, leading to deep, lasting change. And as each woman regains a sense of control in her life, the guilt and stresses of motherhood fade away and she steps into her own vibrant light.