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Where do you want to be planted?
by Corrine Bucher
When my daughter was born I remember thinking: “Now my lifestyle will be really limited, and forget adventurous travel.” I went through a rollercoaster of highs and lows those first few months, alternately reveling in the unexpected joys of being a mom and getting depressed over the restrictions of my new responsibility. Then I did a little self-coaching to transform my experience. I told myself: “Being a mother opens up an entirely new world of possibility." A few weeks later my new perspective was tested. My husband invited me to join him on a work trip to Africa. I was torn about leaving our six-month-old daughter with her grandparents for the week-long trip, but I took the plunge -- and it proved to be a great experience, not only for myself, but my daughter and my parents as well.
What I learned is that my perspective impacts my choices, behavior, and results. If I'm thinking that "Adventurous travel is over," then I instinctively say no to the African trip and don't even consider pursuing such opportunities. Then my belief that a part of my life is over is confirmed -- not because of circumstance, but because I made it so.
In order to be the mother, wife, friend, and woman I desire to be, I need to take a step back and get down to the basics (often). I love to think of myself as a tree with deep roots, standing tall and strong, grounded and thriving. Metaphors often inspire me from the inside out. If I am this vibrant tree, my perspective is the soil in which I'm planted. It seems so simple, but all too often I am operating on auto-pilot and don’t even realize the underlying beliefs that run my life. For instance, if I am operating on the belief, “Being a mom is hard” then chances are I'm going to live my day so that prophecy is fulfilled. What if, however, I operate on the belief that "Being a mom is a blessing"? Can you sense the internal shift between those two perspectives? Being a mom IS hard -- but focusing on that, seeing it as only that, makes it infinitely harder and limits my ability to see everything else it is. The first step to creating a vibrant life is to make sure that your perspective is powerful and productive, not limiting. Off what perspective are your roots feeding?
In the exercise below, you will begin exploring what limiting beliefs might be lurking in your life. Limiting beliefs are the ones that hold you back and sabotage your efforts to accomplish what you really want. Find them and you are more than halfway there!
Corrine Bucher is a veteran coach and mother devoted to transforming the lives of both working and stay-at-home mothers. Her Workshops for Working Mothers, originally developed for a Fortune 500 Company, challenge and inspire women to define their work/life balance vision so they may begin to feel a sense of control again. Learn more and sign up for her online newsletter, Embracing Motherhood, at http://corrinebucher.com.
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