Articles and Books
How Vast Is Your Horizon?
by Corrine Bucher
As I started making summer camp plans for my children I happened upon this quote: “It is very difficult for your child’s horizons to be greater than your own.” I realized I had been tailoring camp choices for my daughter based on what I thought she would easily enjoy and be good at. I couldn’t get the image of her being dropped off in a new environment, afraid and alone, out of my head. How could I be a good mother and actually place her in a scary situation? Then I remembered: Fear is a bogeyman. There are certainly times in life when it should be heeded, but way too often we use it as a cop-out. My experience has been that when I try the thing I’m most afraid of, the outcome is never as awful as I imagined. In most cases, I’m rewarded by learning I can do something I thought I couldn’t. The world seems more exciting and I gain a new level of confidence.
So, when do you push your children to try something new and when are you going too far? I wish there was an easy answer, but like everything in motherhood it’s about trial and error. Hopefully light on the error side! If I am afraid she will fail, then what am I teaching her? The truth is that she is always more resilient than I give her credit for. So, I decided to take the same approach I do with family meals. I put four things on their plates, three of which they’ve eaten before and one they haven’t. Expanding my children’s world is part of my job as a mom. This, by the way, applies to children of all ages. One of my mentor coaches, Laura Berman Fortgang, refers to it as the “Fish Tank Theory.” Tropical fish will grow to fit the size of their tank, so stick them in a larger tank and watch them grow!
Corrine Bucher is a veteran coach and mother devoted to transforming the lives of both working and stay-at-home mothers. Her Workshops for Working Mothers, originally developed for a Fortune 500 Company, challenge and inspire women to define their work/life balance vision so they may begin to feel a sense of control again. Learn more and sign up for her online newsletter, Embracing Motherhood, at http://corrinebucher.com.
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